8/27/10 the oncologist

This afternoon was the oncologist, Michael Guarino who introduced himself simply as Guarino.  Ok.  He is a self-described blunt man who wants answers NOW.  I am ok with that - better than a namby pamby who takes days to make a decision!  He tried to get me to give lung fluid into a cup - not very successfully. Oh well.  From the spittle he can sometimes ID the cancer.  Looking at the CDs, he saw 2 non-issue cysts on the liver, an enlarged lymph node near the stomach probably from the April appendectomy, but also the enlarged lymph nodes on the trachea.  That is what most concerns him, I think.  Next week I will have a PET scan, brain MRI and bronchoscopy.  And will start radiation therapy.  I am no doctor but I think he is concerned that the lymphatic system has already sent cancer cells throughout and into the brain, lessening my chances for any positive result.

One day at a time to gather the information to finally make an informed decision.  Once we have the data, we'll go to Hopkins for a second opinion.

I haven't really been telling people - again, one day at a time for my sake and others.  I don't know what to tell people so why say anything?  If you read this and are sad you didn't know at the outset, sorry.  But I don't know what I am working with and am also trying to recover from a bout of pneumonia, something I keep forgetting about.  I am tired, busy with work (a good thing), and trying to keep my head above water emotionally.  I am hoping to get a lot of mindless reading done during these appointments - gotta be mindless in case those nasty cells are up there already!

Patrick heads off to UD on Monday, which is where he needs to be.  He'll see a perfectly healthy mother when he leaves, so that will be his image.  Maggie is the one who will need help -she'll see the struggles on the bad days.

My only real question, as I look at my bucket list, is how I am going to have that red car black top Miata (or other fun sports car).  I'd hoped to rent one, but cannot find a rental agency online.  I don't want to own one, just drive it around for a few weeks during the great Fall weather!  If you have any suggestions, let me know!